First, This NY lawyer was suspended by the bar for submitting 'shockingly poor' briefs. He used the excuses 'My paralegal did it!' and 'But I suddenly had a lot of work!' to no avail. Get your shit done now, people. This way, in ten years, you won't get called out for your 'shockingly poor' practical skills.
Second, Some dip decided to undermine the sanctity of the courtroom with his idiotic conduct. I'm too lazy to summarize so here's the relevant info: 'At the deposition, Sahid “repeatedly interrupted the questioning and made improper objections and lengthy speeches that had no merit,” the appeals court said . . . He insulted plaintiff's counsel, [the judge overseeing the case] and her clerk, and even the court reporter, who was eventually compelled to leave the deposition due to the abuse of defendants' counsel.”' ABA Journal The best part of this is that he is also a New York lawyer. We are really earning our reputation right now.
Lastly, speaking of shockingly poor practice, we must acknowledge the behavior of a CA lawyer who settled a personal injury suit pre-verdict for $350,000. Upon learning that the jury was going to award $9.4 million, he quickly claimed mistrial due to his own professional negligence. The judge allowed it but permitted the defense to bring a counterclaim for damages. Apparently, when the lawyer found out he had made an incredibly stupid blunder, he lost his marbles in the court house. After dropping more than $9 million, one way to earn respect from your peers is to flip the frak out.
Happy finals my loves! Do the work now so you don't get sanctioned later! :P
Showing posts with label Bench-Slap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bench-Slap. Show all posts
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Sunday, September 18, 2011
An Introduction to Modern Civil Procedure: Bench-Slapping
The judicial system is hierarchical. Cases start in trial courts and move to appellate courts which then move to superior courts. Up and up we go.
While bench-slapping is lawyer jargon for being intellectually or professionally outwitted or abused by judges, it can also apply to other members of the court room. For starters, let's look at the bench-slapping of defendants. This is what happens when you refuse to afford the proper respect to the Big Man in the Robe.
But, bench-slapping lawyers is far more fun.
1. Last-Ditch Efforts:
"Throwing 20 affirmative defenses against the wall to see what sticks is a strategy that did not go over well with Manhattan Civil Court Judge Arthur F. Engoron in a landlord-tenant dispute over back rent. The case is Cityspire Inc. v. Gotham Lasik and here's what the judge said in his order granting summary judgement:
Lawyers are supposed to be ethical! Righteous! Professional! But sometimes, they can be a bit petty. When lawyers fail to do their jobs properly, the bench inevitably loses patience. So when two lawyers couldn't come to a consensus over the location to depose a witness, the bench gave a subtle declaration that was borderline bench-slap, ordering them to
"... meet on the front steps of the Courthouse .... At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006."
Yeah, when your job's been reduced to 'rock, paper, scissors,' you know you pissed someone off. At least the judge had a good sense of humor, though. He could have held them in contempt for being such huge pussies.
3. Rudimentary Skill-Fail:
Children need to learn to crawl before they walk. Lawyers need to learn civil procedure before they argue in court. Sometimes their briefs and motions are actually produced by law students or inferior associates because they're hella busy. Nevertheless, it's still their responsibility to double-check the work product with their name on it. When they don't, the judge invites them to kindergarten parties to work on their lawyering skills.
4. The Bench-Slapper Becomes the Bench-Slapped:
What happens when you receive national attention for being a giant asshole, as in the aforementioned instance? Your superior reins you in via an e-mail, which is then conveniently leaked nationally:
It has not escaped my attention, or that of my colleagues or, I am told, nationally known blog sites that you have issued several 'cute' orders in the past few weeks. The order attached below is the most recent. Frankly, this kind of rhetoric is not funny. In fact, it is so caustic, demeaning, and gratuitous that it casts more disrespect on the judiciary than on the now-besmirched reputation of the counsel. It suggests either that the judge is simply indulging himself at the expense of counsel or that he is fighting with counsel in what, as Judge Gee used to say, is surely not a fair contest. It suggests bias against counsel. No doubt, none of us has been consistently above reproach in our professional communications with counsel. We are all prone to human error. But no judge who writes an order should allow such rhetoric to overcome common sense. Ultimately, this kind of excess, as I noted, reflects badly on all of us. I urge you to think before you write.
tl;dr There's always going to be someone more important than you. Show proper respect.
There's also a social hierarchy:
Law Student < Pre-Bar Lawyer < Post-Bar Lawyer < Associate < Partner < Judge.
It's a bit patriarchal, of course, being a male-dominated profession. And Daddy doesn't like it when you screw around with his bidness. Hence, we welcome the invention of bench-slapping, where judges let you know who's boss and when you've been a bad, bad peon.
Law Student < Pre-Bar Lawyer < Post-Bar Lawyer < Associate < Partner < Judge.
It's a bit patriarchal, of course, being a male-dominated profession. And Daddy doesn't like it when you screw around with his bidness. Hence, we welcome the invention of bench-slapping, where judges let you know who's boss and when you've been a bad, bad peon.
While bench-slapping is lawyer jargon for being intellectually or professionally outwitted or abused by judges, it can also apply to other members of the court room. For starters, let's look at the bench-slapping of defendants. This is what happens when you refuse to afford the proper respect to the Big Man in the Robe.
But, bench-slapping lawyers is far more fun.
1. Last-Ditch Efforts:
"Throwing 20 affirmative defenses against the wall to see what sticks is a strategy that did not go over well with Manhattan Civil Court Judge Arthur F. Engoron in a landlord-tenant dispute over back rent. The case is Cityspire Inc. v. Gotham Lasik and here's what the judge said in his order granting summary judgement:
2. Improper Lawyering:The [affirmative defenses] are a veritable laundry list, something of a 'greatest hits,' of what respondents tend to argue . . . In other words, we have the usual suspects, with, naturally, a few vague counterclaims thrown in for good measure."
Lawyers are supposed to be ethical! Righteous! Professional! But sometimes, they can be a bit petty. When lawyers fail to do their jobs properly, the bench inevitably loses patience. So when two lawyers couldn't come to a consensus over the location to depose a witness, the bench gave a subtle declaration that was borderline bench-slap, ordering them to
"... meet on the front steps of the Courthouse .... At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006."
Yeah, when your job's been reduced to 'rock, paper, scissors,' you know you pissed someone off. At least the judge had a good sense of humor, though. He could have held them in contempt for being such huge pussies.
3. Rudimentary Skill-Fail:
Children need to learn to crawl before they walk. Lawyers need to learn civil procedure before they argue in court. Sometimes their briefs and motions are actually produced by law students or inferior associates because they're hella busy. Nevertheless, it's still their responsibility to double-check the work product with their name on it. When they don't, the judge invites them to kindergarten parties to work on their lawyering skills.
4. The Bench-Slapper Becomes the Bench-Slapped:
What happens when you receive national attention for being a giant asshole, as in the aforementioned instance? Your superior reins you in via an e-mail, which is then conveniently leaked nationally:
It has not escaped my attention, or that of my colleagues or, I am told, nationally known blog sites that you have issued several 'cute' orders in the past few weeks. The order attached below is the most recent. Frankly, this kind of rhetoric is not funny. In fact, it is so caustic, demeaning, and gratuitous that it casts more disrespect on the judiciary than on the now-besmirched reputation of the counsel. It suggests either that the judge is simply indulging himself at the expense of counsel or that he is fighting with counsel in what, as Judge Gee used to say, is surely not a fair contest. It suggests bias against counsel. No doubt, none of us has been consistently above reproach in our professional communications with counsel. We are all prone to human error. But no judge who writes an order should allow such rhetoric to overcome common sense. Ultimately, this kind of excess, as I noted, reflects badly on all of us. I urge you to think before you write.
tl;dr There's always going to be someone more important than you. Show proper respect.
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