When I decided to go to law school, my fiance's dad laughed and said: "There are too many of them. The first thing we do is kill all the lawyers!" Let's hope there aren't too many of us out there when we graduate. I would hate if we had to start offing each other Hunger Games-style.
In a tribute to William Shakespeare on the supposed day of his birth, I have tracked down the infamous passage from Henry VI, Part II:
Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows
reformation. There shall be in England seven
halfpenny loaves sold for a penny: the three-hooped
pot; shall have ten hoops and I will make it felony
to drink small beer: all the realm shall be in
common; and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to
grass: and when I am king, as king I will be,--
God save your majesty!
I thank you, good people: there shall be no money;
all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will
apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree
like brothers and worship me their lord.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable
thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should
be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled
o'er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings:
but I say, 'tis the bee's wax; for I did but seal
once to a thing, and I was never mine own man
since. How now! who's there?
Enter some, bringing forward the Clerk of Chatham
The clerk of Chatham: he can write and read and
We took him setting of boys' copies.
Here's a villain!
Has a book in his pocket with red letters in't.
Nay, then, he is a conjurer.
Nay, he can make obligations, and write court-hand.
I am sorry for't: the man is a proper man, of mine
honour; unless I find him guilty, he shall not die.
Come hither, sirrah, I must examine thee: what is thy name?
They use to write it on the top of letters: 'twill
go hard with you.
Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name? or
hast thou a mark to thyself, like an honest
Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up
that I can write my name.
He hath confessed: away with him! he's a villain
and a traitor.
Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and
ink-horn about his neck.
Exit one with the Clerks
What a sad life we would have lived in Elizabethan England.